So how do you find out if your girlfriend has had some work done without performing a squeeze test? Staring is rude, but you may not be able to help yourself when it comes to her mysterious rack. Read the tips below to help you solve the mystery of your girlfriend’s overly perky, fabulous BR*ASTS.
1. The shape test The biggest indicator of whether your girlfriend is sporting brea$t implants or not is the way they look. Natural BR*ASTS can sometimes take on a “sloped” look, as real BR*ASTS are pear-shaped, with the bulk of mass being at the bottom of the brea$t *thanks, gravity!*. brea$t implants, however, defy the laws of physics and retain their perfectly rounded shape, no matter what position they are in.
2. How high? Natural BR*ASTS usually fall at about armpit height. Some poorly done brea$t implants, however, will have the BR*ASTS starting far too high up on the chest. If you’ve seen real ones in real life, odds are, you’re going to be able to spot the discrepancies in the altered ones.
3. Added perks. It should be noted that natural BR*ASTS, as fabulous as they may be, are prone to eventual sagging – even at a young age. If your girlfriend is sporting an impressive set of b00bs that look unnaturally perky both in and outside of wearing a br@ *with no sagging despite their giant stature*, she has probably had implants put in.
Furthermore, natural BR*ASTS usually have a 3 inch space in between each boob. If your girlfriend’s b00bs are either ridiculously far apart or constantly touching and sporting unrealistic cleavage, those b00bs have been tampered with!
4. The horizontal test. Similarly, you’ll want to take note of where her BR*ASTS sit when she is lying flat on her back. Natural BR*ASTS will fall back in or to the sides of her chest. Similar to “p*rn” b00bs, brea$t implants will not have a natural “lay” on a woman’s body. Instead of falling to the sides, they’ll stick straight up as though she were still standing.
5. Scarring. If you’ve had the chance to see your girlfriend nak*d or in a bikini, you may have noticed a bit of scarring around the bottoms of her BR*ASTS, n!pple$, in her underarms, or maybe even an abundance of stretch marks around the area in question. These are all common signs of having had a boob job.
6. Noisy b00bs. Spooky, right? A little known fact about brea$t implants is that they can sometimes make noise. A light, “swooshing” sound when she moves around is due to the liquid inside the implant. Those who are perfectly trained in their hearing will be able to spot the sounds of a definite implant.
7. Body proportion. If your girlfriend is weighing in at a size 3 with double Ds, you better know those suckers are fake. Many women make the mistake of choosing implants that are far too big for their bodies, resulting in an unrealistic effect.
Women’s bodies are generally proportional. If she has tiny hips and a tiny waist, DNA shows that her BR*ASTS will be proportionally small, as well. While this is not always the case, it sure is a dead giveaway for spotting fake BR*ASTS.
8. A heavenly handful. How do they feel? Aside from the given answer of “Great!” the fact is that natural BR*ASTS are soft, squishy, and full of natural fat, making them fabulously jiggly to the touch. brea$t implants, on the other hand, will feel firm and relatively immovable. No matter what type of implant a woman gets, saline or silicone, fake BR*ASTS will always have a “hard” feel to them, and have less realistic movement than natural ones.
1. The shape test The biggest indicator of whether your girlfriend is sporting brea$t implants or not is the way they look. Natural BR*ASTS can sometimes take on a “sloped” look, as real BR*ASTS are pear-shaped, with the bulk of mass being at the bottom of the brea$t *thanks, gravity!*. brea$t implants, however, defy the laws of physics and retain their perfectly rounded shape, no matter what position they are in.
2. How high? Natural BR*ASTS usually fall at about armpit height. Some poorly done brea$t implants, however, will have the BR*ASTS starting far too high up on the chest. If you’ve seen real ones in real life, odds are, you’re going to be able to spot the discrepancies in the altered ones.
3. Added perks. It should be noted that natural BR*ASTS, as fabulous as they may be, are prone to eventual sagging – even at a young age. If your girlfriend is sporting an impressive set of b00bs that look unnaturally perky both in and outside of wearing a br@ *with no sagging despite their giant stature*, she has probably had implants put in.
Furthermore, natural BR*ASTS usually have a 3 inch space in between each boob. If your girlfriend’s b00bs are either ridiculously far apart or constantly touching and sporting unrealistic cleavage, those b00bs have been tampered with!
4. The horizontal test. Similarly, you’ll want to take note of where her BR*ASTS sit when she is lying flat on her back. Natural BR*ASTS will fall back in or to the sides of her chest. Similar to “p*rn” b00bs, brea$t implants will not have a natural “lay” on a woman’s body. Instead of falling to the sides, they’ll stick straight up as though she were still standing.
5. Scarring. If you’ve had the chance to see your girlfriend nak*d or in a bikini, you may have noticed a bit of scarring around the bottoms of her BR*ASTS, n!pple$, in her underarms, or maybe even an abundance of stretch marks around the area in question. These are all common signs of having had a boob job.
6. Noisy b00bs. Spooky, right? A little known fact about brea$t implants is that they can sometimes make noise. A light, “swooshing” sound when she moves around is due to the liquid inside the implant. Those who are perfectly trained in their hearing will be able to spot the sounds of a definite implant.
7. Body proportion. If your girlfriend is weighing in at a size 3 with double Ds, you better know those suckers are fake. Many women make the mistake of choosing implants that are far too big for their bodies, resulting in an unrealistic effect.
Women’s bodies are generally proportional. If she has tiny hips and a tiny waist, DNA shows that her BR*ASTS will be proportionally small, as well. While this is not always the case, it sure is a dead giveaway for spotting fake BR*ASTS.
8. A heavenly handful. How do they feel? Aside from the given answer of “Great!” the fact is that natural BR*ASTS are soft, squishy, and full of natural fat, making them fabulously jiggly to the touch. brea$t implants, on the other hand, will feel firm and relatively immovable. No matter what type of implant a woman gets, saline or silicone, fake BR*ASTS will always have a “hard” feel to them, and have less realistic movement than natural ones.
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